Tuesday, March 17, 2015


It's featured in movies and TV shows regularly.  It's wailed over and angrily mocked in feminist blogs.  There are lampoons of it all over Youtube.  Women complain about it happening to them.

A nice looking woman walks past a construction site.  The construction worker and his buddies yell filthy comments at the woman.  The woman is disgusted and gives them a dirty look, or in comedies, she sometimes interacts with the men, putting them in their place.  This sort of behavior is so very, very common.

Yet it has never happened to me.  Not once.

I've been whistled at, but only by boyfriends, or male friends being funny.  It was never anything threatening or disgusting - it was always in good fun.  And though I know I should be happy about the fact that I've never been treated disrespectfully in this way, I can't help but feel the tiniest bit...sad about it.  I can't help but feel that it's in some way a comment on my lack of physical appeal.

I know that this makes me a Very Bad Feminist.  I know that what I'm saying is fucked up on many, many levels.  But really?  Every woman in the world has been catcalled except me?  Why not me?  Am I so asexual that no sophomoric construction worker would ever dream of saying something inappropriate to me?

When I have these thoughts, I sometimes tell myself that it's not because I'm the ugliest woman in the world, it's because of how I carry myself!  I exude confidence and strength, and those idiot men know that I can't be intimidated or bothered by their shitty behavior.  I'm like Professor McGonagall.  Or the Dowager from Downton Abbey.  Or the Queen of England.  Then I remember that those are all old woman - badasses, yes - but old women - and then I feel kind of bad again.  

I'm not jealous of the women who get catcalled, exactly.  I understand that it's not a GOOD thing for men to treat women as if they are sexually available, simply because they are walking down the street.  But it can't be normal that it's never happened to me ONE SINGLE TIME!   I'm like a fifty year old virgin, or a grown man who has never driven a car, or anyone over the age of five who has never seen The Wizard of Oz.   And yes, I'm an idiot, and yes, I'm being awful, but whatever.   I'm also right.