Monday, August 13, 2012

My Dream Polygamous Marriage

You are probably all familiar with my stance on polygamy, but just in case you aren't, I'll restate it for the record.  I think it should be legal.  I have always thought that it was weird that polygamy is illegal, but cheating on your spouse isn't, because really it's the same thing, except with polygamy everyone is ok with it.  I don't support the creepy kind of polygamy where child brides are forced into unions with old men, but as long as everyone is consenting adults more power to them I say.  It's not how I would choose to live, but I don't care of others do.

But the other day I was know, it might be nice to have a second wife.  You know, someone who would clean my house and make sure there's a nice hot meal on the table when I come home.  She would be really sweet and kind and ugly, and she would take care of all the crap that neither Phillip or I wants to do.  Phillip would not be allowed to like her, or have sex with her, or interact with her except to give her orders.  But she and I would be friends and would hang out and talk while I ate the gluten free cookies she would bake for me.  She would frump around the house in her hideous floral print dress with her hair in a French braid, and I would have lots of time freed up to get my hair done and work out so I'd be super skinny and hot.  Phil and I would go for walks in the evening together, making fun of my sister wife because she believes that no one has ever landed on the moon, while she stayed at home to do the dinner dishes.  

I guess really what I'm looking for is a servant.  But those are expensive.  I don't want a slave because that's immoral, and I have no interest in exploiting or abusing someone, or controlling her life or "owning" her.  What I want is someone who will live at my house voluntarily and do chores and not sleep with my husband, but who is free to leave at any time.  I won't tell her how to live her life or anything; she can have boyfriends and stuff, and if she decides she hates being my sister wife she's free to go find somewhere else to live.  She would be free to make use of anything in the house, eat whatever, etc. and of course she would live with us for free.  

Is this an actual arrangement?  Do people agree to this kind of thing?  I'm aware that it's a weird request, but there's got to be someone out there who would agree to it.  Right? 

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