Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Be Mr. Darcy

As a married woman, I know that these dating problems don't affect me anymore directly. But I still hear men and women make complaints, and it drives me crazy. So here are a few things men do, specifically, that need to stop. Stop it, men. Stop it.

1) Pretending to be totally freaked out by womens periods. I'm not talking about the guys who wrinkle their noses a little at the thought, nor am I saying that guys need to be all about menstruation, which would be kind of creepy. I'm talking about the guys who get all theatrical every time a period is mentioned or referred to. They throw their hands up in the air and groan or shout "Stop it, stop it!" and basically act as if you started committing an act of bestiality and cannibalism combined right in front of them. It's irritating in the extreme. Grow up. No straight man is that freaked out by the normal functioning of the vagina. Hell even gay men are probably not THAT grossed out by it.

2) Saying trite things like "Why do chicks always like jerks?" and "Nice guys finish last" and stupid things like that. Let me explain why these statements are total crap. If you are a guy, and you have said something like this, I'm going to tell you very clearly what you did wrong. Either A)The girls you go for are immature twits. If this is the case I don't feel bad for you because you make bad decisions. Or B) You aren't a "nice guy". You're a pussy.
Because mature, psychologically healthy women DO like nice guys. What they DON'T like is weak little boys.

To explain the distinction: Think of Steve Urkel. Do you remember his alter-ego, Steffan? Steffan was a pussy. Don't be Steffan. Now think of Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Darcy is a nice guy. Be Mr. Darcy. In fact, that's probably the best advice any guy can follow if he's trying to seduce a woman. Be Mr. Darcy. Read that book and emulate everything about him.

3)Saying they "don't understand women" whenever they have relationship problems. That is stoopid on so many levels; but the most important one is this: you cannot generalize when it comes to women. Women are complex creatures. You will never, ever have success in a healthy relationship if you are trying to relate to "women". Instead you need to learn about your specific woman and understand HER.

4)Demand physical perfection from their girlfriends/wives while they get fat and wear white tennis shoes and fail to fix things around the house. If you demand female perfection, you should at least attempt to attain male perfection. Fair is fair.

Just a little public service for my lovely single female friends. It's important to give back and such.

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