Food For People Who Can't Eat

Due to my horrifying stomach drama, I'm no longer allowed to eat gluten. If you've ever tried to be vegetarian and gluten free at the same time, you know that it's easy enough at home, surrounded by your army of cookbooks, but when dining out it's pretty much Thai food, and that's about it. So I have a great idea. To open up a restaurant called "Food for People Who Can't Eat". It would be a place where people with dietary restrictions could eat to their hearts' content, relishing every tasty biteful. The restaurant would offer several separate menus, each with 5 or 6 entree options, several "sides" from which they could choose, three or four desserts, and of course beverages. "Food For People Who Can't Eat" would offer the following menus:

Gluten Free
Vegetarian
Vegan
Kosher
Halal
Diabetic
"On a Diet"
low carb
raw foods
local, organic, whole foods
fruitarian
nut allergy
lactose intolerance
juice bar (for people on liquid diets and people with no teeth)
macrobiotic
"gourmet" (only the highest quality, snob approved foods)

That's 16 menus. If each menu has 5 entrees that's 80 options, which is a lot. But I think restaurants like The Cheesecake Factory manage it, so we should be able to as well. And of course, there could be some overlap too, for instance lots of macrobiotic things could be on the vegan menu and so on.

The menu cover would say something like this: "Here at Food For People Who Can't Eat we want to offer a delicious dining experience for all of our guests. Are you tired of going to restaurants where all you can eat is a salad? We know. We know. This restaurant is for YOU. You, people who need wholesome, tasty food, but who can't get their needs met at traditional dining establishments. We aren't here to judge you or call you picky or roll our eyes when you question us about the ingredients in our dishes. We're here to serve you! So ask as many questions as you like. Our waitstaff are trained in all kinds of dietary restrictions and are intimately acquainted with the ingredients in all of our dishes. Here at Food for People Who Can't Eat, we love you! And we know you deserve to eat as much as your less discriminating fellows."

And people who have no dietary restrictions may enjoy it as well! After all, we would serve really, truly tasty food. And it might be fun for anyone who has ever wondered "What do they even eat?".

Too bad I hate business, or I'd get on this right away.